Friday, August 10, 2012

The sound of manic laughter... I survey the condition of my, eh, new home. It looks neither new nor homely, but technically that, in fact, is what it is.

This is the front room. Those two pole thingies to the left have been there since the builder came to put in the doors. People keep on asking me what they are for and then looking up at the ceiling. I am slightly terrified at the prospect that they might be holding the roof up and so I haven't actually asked. That doesn't stop my nephews from swinging out of them though.

These are the new doors linking the front room and main living room - not the best depiction, admittedly, but the difference that they have made to the space is unbelievable, when they are open the whole area is just so bright and airy. They have changed the nature of the front room though - it's not going to be a suitable telly-watching space, so I think that it'll have a piano at one end and then a desk at the other side, and room to work on sewing projects.

This is where the cylinder used to be. Yes, that's right - in the middle of the living room. 'Nough said.

And this is where the cylinder now is, in a far more sensible position- that nutty little nook to the left of the kitchen - going to block it up with a wall there, to make the kitchen vaguely more practical, and then create access to the cylinder from the living room.

My magnificent new gas boiler, super duper highly efficient apparently. And also kinda huge - there goes another cupboard, doh!!!

What do you meeeeeeean what is this - it's the kitchen, of course!!! Seriously, no I don't really know where everything is going to fit in either. Well, I do, but I don't know how I'm going to fit in once everything else has fit in. There's no room for the washing machine but my genius dad suggested building a small shed for it out the back, so that's the plan.

The living room is not so comfy for vegging out in any more, unfortunately.

My dad came one day and chopped his way through the jungle, I'm just waiting until I get around to ordering a skip to chuck it all in there and set about planning the garden. I'll need a serious fence to cover up my neighbours' yuckky wall on one side and nasty fence on the other side. Ugh. I've been buying plants, I can't wait to get cracking, I don't know how much longer my lovely Hydrangea can hold out. Also - I love that Tiger Lily, but I heard that they kill cats!!! So maybe that one needs a rethink...

You thought the kitchen was amusing? This is the bathroom. Hi-la-ri-ous. It actually looks SMALLER without anything in it - how did they get a bath in there?!!!

This is apparently how radiators are born. I'm fascinated in a nerdy way, the pipes go up the wall downstairs. I'm guessing that this is more obvious to others, I just hadn't given it much thought prior to this.

And in case you were wondering where it had all gotten to, here is the debris from my house - out the front, of course, where else. I'm thinking about creating an art installation, Tracey Emin-style. So save this could be worth a fortune if I end up winning the Turner prize!!! This is the sight that greets me when I come home every evening - clearly I have been working on my visualisation skills, so - you see insane mound of bathroom sanitaryware and 60s lino, I see pretty front garden bursting with colourful shrubs and flowers; you see bizzarely laid out little room with enormous gas boiler on wall, I see compact kitchen with stainless steel cabinets, concrete worktop, pretty tiled splashback and the aroma of a tasty dinner in the making; you see impossibly small space with missing floorboards and more pipes than you care to count, I see tiled oasis in the style of a boutique hotel in the Mediterranean, etc etc.

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